Are my California friends aware of this one? They're at it again and are pretty determined to have it law by the first of next year.

SB 250

Even though I have updated my computer to firefox 3.5 manually and Ubuntu has automatically installed firefox 3.5 on my computer more than once, I'm still running firefox 3.0.16. What's up with that?

So would this thing be called geekcore or something? Anyway, I wrote this in like 2001 or something and tweaked and rerecorded it today. Lately I can't pronounce English worth shit, spot all the mistakes in this one!

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/2018003/Music/hackmycode.txt
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/2018003/Music/hackmycode-test.mp3

I love Golden Retrievers. I love their smelly golden fur and affectionate personality. They're up on my top 3 list of dogs I want to get in my life asap, right next to a hound breed and a great dane.

~
On the fourth day of christmas my true love gave to me
four kitty cats
three plushie pups
two panthers purring
and a little wolffie in a pear tree. :3

I found the weirdest she-male movie ever. (I bet you didn't know such a category existed!) Be warned, it is very weird. Watch at your own risk!

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/2018003/Music/possu.b.mp3 - Just found this melodic unfinished thing and quickly finished it.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/2018003/Music/hukka-Mix_2009-11-21.ogg - A mix, house and techno (did I already post this?)

Some more music at http://www.furaffinity.net/gallery/hukka/


I also resumed work on Miditri, my MIDI tracker. It's at the point where I can already actually use it for making music, timing is stable and all's fine and dandy. Needs more pattern editing functionality though.

Late last night I tried to look something up on webster.com and my browser suddenly crashed. Same thing happened on youtube. It wasn't until I went to hulu that I actually got an error saying I need to update my flashplayer. At least hulu was courteous enough to tell me what was going on or else I'd of been confused for a while.

So I took my restoration device off to make some readjustments. Things were a little moist in there and I noticed a major difference immediately. My sensitivity (all around) has jumped at least 50%! I think dryness was the problem. I will use moisturizer regularly and continue restoring. Once my restoration progress reaches complete coverage it will keep itself moist and sensitive with no need to use moisturizer. This is great!!

Edit: I found another good size effect. When I stood up from a quick power nap the tension created this real nice sensation. Sitting here now with the tension and the pressure and all that, it feels pretty damn nice. I never heard of this happening before.

I will just like to say thanks to my LJ friends for listening to my rants about my problems coping with my sexual dysfunction as a result of being cut. Now while my sensitivity has decreased over time, it still is framed by my state of mind to a large extent. But my dysfunction is real, it's not product of my imagination. So the true picture is a lot more nuanced than I made it out to be. I need to go soon so I will have to elaborate more on it later. But I've been thinking about it and felt like I have reached a point of transcendence in my process of coping with my situation. At one time, it was cathartic. But now, not so much. So from this point onwards, I will never write a post speaking negatively about my situation. I feel like I have moved past that. I'm going to change my thinking to be positive - and I have a lot to be positive about!

Is sexual sensation supposed to become duller with age? By one's late 20's, does it become necessary to use a lot of pressure to get any sort of sensation? I need to grasp my tool rather firmly, and even that isn't enough. I need visual stimulation on top of that. Is that normal? Is every man supposed to find it harder and harder to feel sexual sensation over time?

There's a lot of ignorant and insensitive people who berate me when I call my circumcision mutilation. For some reason I have a feeling that it's not supposed to be this difficult to gain sexual satisfaction. I remember the first time another person first masturbated me. I was 17 and it was pretty damn great! My last encounter with another person was in early September. He touched it and I felt nothing. He put it in his hand. He might as well of been playing with my thumbs. No, wait, I'd actually *feel* something then! When I touch my penis normally, I feel more sensation on my fucking *knee* than I do on my penis, and I'm not exaggerating! On my knee I can detect a difference in temperature rather well. On my penile gland, I can't even detect the coldness of my finger. The problem is what's called keratization, a natural reaction to protect an exposed organ which is supposed to be an INTERNAL organ. Over time, friction creates more layers of keratization which dullens sensation and makes it harder to get off. I'm experiencing this BIG time. And to think, some fuckers have tried to blame ME for my sexual dysfunction!

Imagine if we removed the clitoral hood and labia and let the clitoris keratize. Imagine the crime to humanity that would be! What's wrong with men? Why don't men deserve that same consideration?

"The C Street home housing the Christian power broker group The Family, where Nevada Sen. John Ensign and South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford sought refuge and advice — is also notable for its involvement in another realm of anti-gay legislation: Uganda's bill criminalizing homosexuality."

Full story here:

http://www.queerty.com/shock-john-ensign-mark-sanfords-religious-family-is-backing-ugandas-gay-hate-20091127/

This last line is scary: "And the very people — America's elected officials who believe in human rights — we would expect to pressure Uganda's lawmakers not to make such a bill law are turning out to be its biggest supporters."

I just heard about this tonight and so I haven't been able to dig deeper in to it, but I'm not surprised. In August 2008 I read an article about the crazy "religious right/neo-cons," or what ever the proper term to use is, going to Africa since the 60's or 70's. It seems to me these weird "American Taliban" type of folks have been meddling in the affairs of Africa for a while. This isn't a sudden swelling of homophobia from an isolated 3rd world nation. Apparently it's American brewed fanaticism. I personally think Uganda is being used as a test for the sort of society certain special interest groups want to create in the U.S.

I don't think this represents Christianity in any way and am in fact pretty damn disgusted that they use religion in such a sick manner. It could be used as a force of good and bonding in the world, considering how personal it is, but it's instead being used to oppress and torment people. Those fools, they don't seem to get that Jesus would be against oppression. It's not Jesus telling them what to do, it's more like Satan.

It's been so long I forgot. I need to get some gauze tape. What I used really hurt peeling it off when I had to go to the bathroom! Tomorrow, I'm taking a trip to the drug store.

Our ideas about gender roles, sex and masculinity are fucked up if they can lead to a tragedy like this.


Watch Botched Circumcision - David Reimer 1965-2004 in Educational  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

After something so tragic as this, why has no law been passed to protect all males? According to the cite from Journal of Urology found here, 1.5-15% of the circumcision procedures are "botched" (as if MGM isn't botching the male penis even when the procedure goes "right"). When Oprah sees a humanitarian disaster, she usually tries to do something about it. Why did Reimer's experience have no affect on her?

Okay, so circumcision (aka male sexual mutilation, MGM) is said to prevent diseases. Let's assume it does. How about we force other unnecessary procedures to prevent diseases. Women get yeast infections, so lets do a little trimming so their vaginas dry out to prevent them from getting yeast infections all together. I mean, hygiene is one excuse used to mutilating males. Phimosis, a condition both women (clitoral hood) and uncircumcised male are at risk of getting, is easily treatable with an uncut male. Why don't we force circumcise all baby girls to prevent them from contracting phimosis? Why the double standard? A dry vagina would mean less of a chance to transmit AIDS. Too dry? Use lube! That's what us cut males are forced to use. It doesn't feel as good? Join the club. :) Use protection??? WHAT? If we can't expect uncut males to use protection (and thus cut off their thing to let it dry up) then we can't expect women to be wise enough to demand protection from her partner. Unless, of course, you're comfortable with using double standards that push down one sex while protecting another.

How such insanity only gets past people when talking about males leaves no other conclusion in my mind other than males are considered not as important or worth considering. I mean, it's a matter of actual human rights after all. What's more important to an individual than that?

Not that I'm gonna go on a tirade about feminism here, but the ideas which justified Money's procedure to further mutilate Reimer and turn him into a girl came out of feminist theory that's still taught in schools today. So yeah, the anti-male rhetoric and implicit sexism must stop.

Dawkins, in his book "The God Delusion" talked about the consciousness raising that happened during the feminist movement. Men deserve their own version to abolish the oppressive and assumed gender roles men are expected to adopt implicitly.

A good introduction to true men's rights activism, and none of that thinly veiled patriarchy non-sense expounded by the right, can be found in Warren Farrel's book The Myth of Male Power.

Years ago I made a home made restoration device that I need to tape on in order to apply pressure to my shaft skin. But it's a pain in the ass to put on. I want to get a TLC Tugger, but I think I need more loose skin before I can use the TLC-X. So I'm going to use my clumsy home made device until then. It's cumbersome and a pain, but it takes me one step closer towards foreskin restoration!

To paraphrase Penn from Bullshit season 3 episode 1: It's sad that a dude has to go through so much trouble just to feel good about himself.

But hey, that's the price you pay for being male in America.